Dating Psychology 101

overheard a conversation at starbucks yesterday that shattered everything I thought I knew about women.

girl 1: “I don’t know why I keep going back to him. he treats me like shit.”

girl 2: “because he doesn’t need you. and that drives you crazy.”

girl 1: “but david is so much nicer. he’d do anything for me.”

girl 2: “exactly. that’s why you’re not attracted to him.”

I’m sitting there scrolling through my weather app pretending to work but my mind is exploding.

because for 3 years I’d been david.

the nice guy who’d do anything.

always available.

always understanding.

always trying to prove my worth.

and getting absolutely nowhere with women.

friend-zoned by every girl I actually liked.

while watching them chase guys who barely acknowledged their existence.

made zero logical sense.

I was kind, loyal, supportive.

everything women said they wanted.

but they kept choosing distant, unpredictable guys.

guys who made them work for attention.

guys who had other options.

and I thought women were just broken or lying.

but listening to that conversation, something clicked.

it’s not that women want to be treated badly.

they’re attracted to men who don’t need their validation.

men who have their own mission.

their own standards.

their own boundaries.

and I was the opposite.

a validation-seeking missile.

making women the center of my universe.

dropping everything for their attention.

changing my personality to match what I thought they wanted.

basically becoming their emotional servant.

and wondering why they weren’t attracted to servants.

because attraction isn’t logical.

it’s psychological.

we’re wired to want what’s scarce.

to chase what moves away from us.

to value what’s hard to obtain.

women don’t consciously think “I want a guy who treats me badly.”

they feel attracted to confidence.

to mystery.

to challenge.

to men who seem to have options.

and desperation is the attraction killer.

the energy of “please choose me.”

“please validate me.”

women can smell that from miles away.

and it’s repulsive.

not because they’re evil.

but because biologically, they’re wired to select for genetic fitness.

desperation signals low value.

lack of options.

lack of confidence.

meanwhile, attractive guys have their own lives.

their own goals.

they’re not seeking validation.

they’re not available 24/7.

they have boundaries.

they say no sometimes.

they challenge back.

that creates psychological tension that generates attraction.

took me 2 years to internalize this.

to stop being available all the time.

to stop dropping everything for female attention.

to start having standards and boundaries.

to become genuinely busy building something.

not pretending to be busy.

actually having a mission that mattered more than any individual woman.

and everything changed.

not because I started treating women badly.

but because I stopped treating them like they were above me.

stopped putting them on pedestals.

stopped seeking their approval.

started being selective about who earned my time.

started having genuine standards.

started walking away from situations that didn’t serve me.

and suddenly I became attractive.

not more handsome.

just more selective.

more confident.

more challenging.

because I finally understood the psychology.

women don’t want to be your everything.

they want to be chosen by someone who has other options.

they don’t want unconditional love from strangers.

they want to earn attention from someone with standards.

they don’t want servants.

they want equals who challenge them.

most guys never learn this.

they keep being nice.

keep being available.

keep seeking approval.

and wondering why it never works.

blaming women for being “shallow.”

when really, they don’t understand female psychology.

don’t understand that attraction isn’t a choice.

don’t understand that logical behavior psychologically creates the opposite effect.

brutal lesson.

but necessary.

P.s I appreciate everyone who has subscribed to my newsletter.

I am working on a creating a place for people like us to grow into that top 1% of men.

I plan to have it published by the end of June.

I hope you get some value from it.

Protocols OS coming soon.